Ordinary....and All Things New

This time last week, I woke up in Nashville, after a somewhat restful sleep, which was probably the only night of quality sleep!! That day, I would not have been able to imagine how by the end of the week I would be changed in so many ways and feel the way I do right now. For a few months leading up to the Children's Pastors Conference, I have been praying about the direction my life would take. When I was teaching, I knew that God had called me to do that, knew He had given me the ability to do that, and enjoyed it tremendously. Then, through Daron's leading from Him, I became a stay-at-home mom and after the first year, we both knew that was where God wanted me to be for that time. I have been blessed to be a part of our Parent's Day Out Ministry and other children's activities at church as well. Over this past year, however, after a few not-so-good months, I finally started getting back to where I needed to be in relationship with my Savior, which allowed me to start hearing some important things He was telling me. First of all, just to know He loves me was overwhelming. It is something I knew, but just to let it sink in all over again was amazing. Hard to explain in words......then, I started not focusing on myself and my family and put Him back in the place He is always supposed to be, and let me tell you, that is when the change began. I have really been through a pruning period, and I am thankful for that. It has been very painful, at times I felt like it was cutting down to the quick! But there were some areas in my life and some things about me that needed to be pruned for me to get to where I am now. It is all about Him, not me, so if I had to go through this, then all the glory is to Him. Around November, I really began to hear Him speaking to me about what He was calling me to do, the next phase of my life. I really felt there were two areas He was calling me to: Children's Ministry and Writing. It would be more obvious to most that Children's Ministry might be an area for me to be, but writing is always something I have loved to do. When I was teaching, I had dreams of writing a children's book, and my teaching partner/friend and I always loved writing creative lesson plans and curriculum for reading and writing. It was something we were good at, but it never really went any where. So, when I began feeling like the Lord was calling me to writing, I struggled with it. Even though it was a passion of mine in my heart, I just wondered why in the world would anyone want to read what I have written. I am not a Beth Moore, Max Lucado, etc....and I am not a Chris Tomlin, Amy Grant song-writer. I just wasn't getting it and really doubting what was going on in my life. So, flash forward to this past Monday. I was really wondering why I was at the Conference. So, Tuesday, at lunch we had a speaker named Margaret Feinberg, and she may as well have been speaking to me. She was talking about writing...and how she came to do it...that she had always loved it...and then she spoke about the books she had written, about how God speaks to us and she focused on Elijah and how God whispered to Him when Elijah was seeking Him. It was amazing!! The speakers on Tuesday night was amazing, and by Wednesday morning, I was in need of some quiet time alone with the Lord to figure out what was going on. I really was beginning to feel like writing was where He wanted me, but I was terrified of that! Then, it was lunch time on Wednesday, and Dr. Tim Kimmel, who is a family expert, was the speaker, and really I didn't expect to get from him what I did. He was so good during the lunch session that I decided last minute to go to his breakout session, and it was definitely a divine appointment! When I got to the room, he began speaking but not on "Grace-Based Parenting." For the first 30 minutes, he said he felt like he needed to speak on fears and just really got after it. Well, I just broke down, because in my quiet time that morning, one of the verses that came to mind was Joshua 1:9, "Do not be afraid..." And in that moment, there were things He was clearing speaking to me and someone I needed to talk to, a friend at the conference who I hate to say I was avoiding that day....kind of a strong word, but in reality, I just needed to be by myself that day and maybe was a little worried that this person would see right through me and I wasn't ready to talk yet. So, after the session ended I went to the Resource Room, and who did I bump into? My friend....and after she went to the booth she needed to go to, I just blurted out, "I need to talk to you," and she said, "I was waiting for you to say that." So that's just what we did, and to her, I finally said that I felt like God was calling me in to writing, and we talked about many other things in both of our lives. I think I can say for both of us, that when we walked away, a clear picture of direction was forming and some weight was lifting off. And then came Thursday! The morning breakout session was amazing for both of us, and exciting in many ways. So, we went to hear the morning speaker, someone I had never heard of, but from the moment she opened her mouth, Angela Thomas had my attention. She had a thick North Carolina drawl and was such a warm, sincere-looking woman. She spoke on the beatitudes and had a different look at those, which gave me chills, and then specifically, she spoke on being "ordinary," which is how I had been feeling up to this point...as she said, "an ordinary person, in an ordinary town....," doing ordinary things, etc....by the time she finished speaking, I was in tears but really feeling some relief in that I can be ordinary and still be effective at all God calls me to do. So, and this is where the weaving of God's events gets amazing, on Friday we went downtown to see the Country Music Hall of Fame, which was closed, but outside was a quote from Dolly Parton about country music, and it basically said how country music is just "ordinary people writing about ordinary things and making it extraordinary." Could have passed out!!! So, by the time we were ready to leave, I was completely spent, but on the way home, we started working on a Bible study that we had been doing (mostly travelling). Again, God was revealing things to me, which kind of didn't click until later, but also, I was just able to feel some release from things I had been holding on to. What I realized later was that the fruit of the spirit that He was really been developing the most in me lately is love, along with peace. I love people and helping people, and over the last few months, I have been able to do that. However, because He loves me, I need to be doing that even more. There are many people who are hurting and needing to know that there is a Savior who loves them more than they can imagine, and while a friendly smile goes a long way, they need to know and hear that God loves them. I need to be telling people this when the opportunity arises, and I know that opportunities arise every day. Again, it will take stepping out of a comfort zone, but isn't that what we are supposed to do?! Once I realized this, along with knowing that God has called me to writing which He knows I love, I just felt so much joy that I can hardly contain it. I stand amazed at how God weaved this past week together with such significant events that just flowed together for me to finally get the picture!! I know that I may not be the biggest writer, don't really care if no one other than my family and friends ever know my name or read the words that I write, but I do know that as long as I am available to Him to do what He wants me to do and that I am faithful, even if I'm ordinary, HE WILL MAKE IT EXTRAORDINARY! He is the one who is able, and I am willing to write and go tell! He makes all things new, and I am thankful for everything that He is! This was a long post, but I just couldn't keep it to myself!!