Fearfully and Wonderfully Made

This morning, the kids and I were on the road to my sweet niece's birthday party. I love riding a little distance with the kids, because two of the three always fall asleep. Then this mommy gets to have some quiet time. This morning, I had quite a lot to reflect on because last night, we had an awesome women's rally at church, filled with an evening of food, fellowship, testimonies, and an inspiring message. It couldn't have come at a better time. As I was driving in the quietness of the van, the verse, "I will praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made..." (Psalm 139:14) came to mind. One day this week, I did not feel this way. It was a weird day for me. The interesting thing is that this day started off so well....you know how it goes: it was the day I actually had all the clothes ironed and ready the night before, lunches were prepared (refrigerated items were even ready and waiting), bags were ready, kids were up early, house was actually clean with the laundry done.....a day starting off so right but for no particular reason that I can remember now, it went downhill fast. I felt very insignificant at everything I did, especially the things that I normally feel good at doing, in particular the one thing that I feel like I am made to do and enjoy the most at this time in my life. I'm sure we all have days like this, and when it happens, it does not feel good. Well, this day ended and a new one began, and by the end of that night, thanks to lots of prayer, to someone very dear and special , and to some good laughs with others, I was back in the groove of things. Now, here's what the "struggle" boiled down to: I want so much to be doing what God has called me to do. I know what that is; I love to write and that desire has grown over the past several months. It's something I would have never expected to be doing like I am. When I was in college and finally ended up with teaching as my major, I knew that was what God wanted me to do. When I began teaching, I knew that even more because it was something I was good at doing. I loved the kids I taught and knew I was there not only to teach them but to encourage and build them up. I knew it was an appointment from God and that was proved in many ways. When I started staying home with my children, I knew that was the time God wanted me to be a mommy and wife. I have treasured that time and worked hard to be diligent at that job. So, to my surprise, over the last few months, God has taken an ability that I have always loved and has always come naturally to me, and He began whispering to me that I should be writing. As I've said before, I really fought this for a little while, because I just couldn't believe that this was something I could do. However, in January, I finally surrendered that to Him, and since then, I trust that He will use whatever I write according to His plans for me, not according to my plans for myself. So now, it's just waiting.....the waiting is the struggle, sad to admit. There are areas of my life that need preparation still....continued Bible study, sharing my faith, unwavering trust in Him to provide, to name a few. So I will wait, and that's why the women's rally at church couldn't have come at a better time, because I know there are other women, older, same age, and younger than me, who have been through similar situations in their walk with Christ, and to hear the testimonies of God's faithfulness, and to see the women who attended, with a look of blessing on their faces, was such an encouragement to me. One of the speakers encouraged us to be "fragrant," to let the aroma of Christ come from us. She encouraged us to use our gifts and abilities, little did she know I was hanging on to every word, with tears in my eyes. She also encouraged us to build relationships, with mentors and friends, which is also something I desire. Needless to say, it was a night of encouragement and building-up for us to be who God made us to be. I'm thankful the verse from Psalm came to mind this morning, because I can and will praise my Father for "I am fearfully and wonderfully made." He made me.....that's the reason I praise Him, because of who He is. Even on the days I may not feel wonderful, He is wonderful, amazing,...."indescribable," and I hope that is something we all know and believe.